If I weren't leaving

If I was staying in the country and entering TOWBAR (Tasking Orientated work based assessment something) and perhaps my own neighbourhood. See if I could get a Safer Neighbourhood Team.
Turn up outside the news agents in the High Road ask the youfs to move along, then “Nick” them for a B.O.P. if they don’t. PACE says that if you’re not going to detain for more than six hours you don’t have to take them to a designated police station. So clear out those old cells full of files and broken furniture and stuff them full of the little yobs. Perhaps no more street signs dragged down their poles and then bent double just at shin height to catch the unwary.
Hunt them down. OK they aren’t serious criminals but they create an atmosphere of fear and dread. As you walk along the streets at midnight and a slightly older bunch of youfs hanging outside the chicken shop. Oh couldn’t I have brought my Glock with me just incase?
Oh my goodness he’s smoking cannabis. P’ taker.
Perhaps the smashed bus shelters the, the graffiti, the drunken assaults, drug taking and the urinating in the street.
“The streets of London are paved with Gold”! Are they really because to me it smells of wee to me.
What else the oiks with their pitbulls. The ignorant so and so’s with their feet on the seats or making their loud personal phone calls disclosing all sorts of embarrassing personal details.
Anyway hopefully ...