Mandelson walking along Downing Street with a fairly well known young Holywood actor.
Trying to impress said actor Mandleson says infront of Delta1 outside the front door of number 10.
"This officer is here to protect my life, isn't that right?"
Delta 1 replies," No sir. I'm here to make sure the man who kills you never stands trial".
Mandleson goes quiet.
Saturday, 8 November 2008
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
Lost my Warrant card
I was asked to give it back.
It was too easy.
Oh damn have to pay for buses and trains now.
But now I'll have to just sit there and watch the scum get on with it and...
What am I saying I'm going to drive everywhere now.
No blood pressure shooting through the ceiling when they put their feet on the seat, play there gangster rap music out load, leave there refuse on the seat, let there dogs sit on the seats, bring their pitbulls on the train and let them wander, whilst the owners swig from the cans of tennent extra, swear their heads off, have extra loud mobile phone conversations discussing thing that ought only be discussed in hushed tones in darkened corners.
We'll if you're no longer a police officer I suppose that you have to give the wallet, shiney badge and card with the face worn off back.
Any regrets. Well the money will stop.
It was too easy.
Oh damn have to pay for buses and trains now.
But now I'll have to just sit there and watch the scum get on with it and...
What am I saying I'm going to drive everywhere now.
No blood pressure shooting through the ceiling when they put their feet on the seat, play there gangster rap music out load, leave there refuse on the seat, let there dogs sit on the seats, bring their pitbulls on the train and let them wander, whilst the owners swig from the cans of tennent extra, swear their heads off, have extra loud mobile phone conversations discussing thing that ought only be discussed in hushed tones in darkened corners.
We'll if you're no longer a police officer I suppose that you have to give the wallet, shiney badge and card with the face worn off back.
Any regrets. Well the money will stop.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
If I weren't leaving
If I was staying in the country and entering TOWBAR (Tasking Orientated work based assessment something) and perhaps my own neighbourhood. See if I could get a Safer Neighbourhood Team.
Turn up outside the news agents in the High Road ask the youfs to move along, then “Nick” them for a B.O.P. if they don’t. PACE says that if you’re not going to detain for more than six hours you don’t have to take them to a designated police station. So clear out those old cells full of files and broken furniture and stuff them full of the little yobs. Perhaps no more street signs dragged down their poles and then bent double just at shin height to catch the unwary.
Hunt them down. OK they aren’t serious criminals but they create an atmosphere of fear and dread. As you walk along the streets at midnight and a slightly older bunch of youfs hanging outside the chicken shop. Oh couldn’t I have brought my Glock with me just incase?
Oh my goodness he’s smoking cannabis. P’ taker.
Perhaps the smashed bus shelters the, the graffiti, the drunken assaults, drug taking and the urinating in the street.
“The streets of London are paved with Gold”! Are they really because to me it smells of wee to me.
What else the oiks with their pitbulls. The ignorant so and so’s with their feet on the seats or making their loud personal phone calls disclosing all sorts of embarrassing personal details.
Anyway hopefully ...
Turn up outside the news agents in the High Road ask the youfs to move along, then “Nick” them for a B.O.P. if they don’t. PACE says that if you’re not going to detain for more than six hours you don’t have to take them to a designated police station. So clear out those old cells full of files and broken furniture and stuff them full of the little yobs. Perhaps no more street signs dragged down their poles and then bent double just at shin height to catch the unwary.
Hunt them down. OK they aren’t serious criminals but they create an atmosphere of fear and dread. As you walk along the streets at midnight and a slightly older bunch of youfs hanging outside the chicken shop. Oh couldn’t I have brought my Glock with me just incase?
Oh my goodness he’s smoking cannabis. P’ taker.
Perhaps the smashed bus shelters the, the graffiti, the drunken assaults, drug taking and the urinating in the street.
“The streets of London are paved with Gold”! Are they really because to me it smells of wee to me.
What else the oiks with their pitbulls. The ignorant so and so’s with their feet on the seats or making their loud personal phone calls disclosing all sorts of embarrassing personal details.
Anyway hopefully ...
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
Police Pay
Well do I care. I took a step closer to Plan B last week. All going well Canberra here I come.
Yes I will be sorry to go:-
Three personnal reasons but they can join me later if they can leave my ex here. Life there would be better for them if they can tear themselves away.
A few good friends, but they can come and see me.
Danger for the rest of you if they do but they might decide to stay.
18 years of Police Pension scheme frozen til I'm 60 now.
Just passed my Sergeants Exam.
Leaving a country I was brought up to love.
How might it gone in Jim Hacker's world.
Sir Humprhey these police chappies I can't give them this money it would show me in a very poor light.
Yes Minister.
So how do win.
You can't, Minister.
Sir Humphrey you usually have a way, can't we promise them a public inquiry to chair or something.
Oh the Court case, that easy enough, I thought you meant the police.You'll never win. It will always rankle them.
A small price to pay for the greater good.
Hmm. Very noble of you Minister. Your personal sacrifice will go down in History.
Sarcasm Sir Humphrey.
No Minister. I merely note that there are two armed police officers outside your office. There are armed police officers permanently outside your house. There are countless armed and unarmed police officers around Parliament.
They wouldn't.
No Minister they wouldn't. But they might also be looking the other way when someone else does.
Oh.
Pay a mere irritation, amongst all the many things wrong with this country.
There need to be a better way of selecting senior officers.
There needs to be a focus on leading a Police force and fighting crime.
Not the current corporate logo, buzz word infested, sound bite geared drive to get the best possible position before retirement.
A chief constable makes a pronouncement on the lack of significant number of officers from ethnic minorities. A knee jerk reaction means that measures are taken to increase those numbers, and he is seen as a hero on his march towards becoming Commisioner of the Met Police.
One wonders whether they actually care at all about about the make up of their officers except in the sense that he'd have no some to have a service.
One impotent officer walking around in a fluorescent jacket is as good as another.
My children are Asian. I've told them they shouldn't join the police.
If they did, they would benefit from coaching to ensure that they would pass the interview.
Would the recruiters think I not interested in what they are saying, pass them anyway, then we can't be accused of being prejudiced, I don't know.
They would be given priority in being appointed as police officers.
Would they pass their probation in the same way.
Then be encouraged to go for promotion or specialism.
But alway the doubt with white male colleagues that my children had an unfair advantage.
It will cost me a fortune as they work through medical school or univercity but they will have transferable skills to work anywhere in the world and not this God forsaken Septred Isle.
I've been dishonest. I rarely wear fluorescent, it doesn't go with a Glock and MP5.
I try not to arrest people, sometimes it happens.
I work incredible ammounts of overtime.
But quality of life and the ability to forfill the Oath I took to maintain the Queens Peace alludes me.
How did they solve the problem about the Oath. Change it.
Yes I will be sorry to go:-
Three personnal reasons but they can join me later if they can leave my ex here. Life there would be better for them if they can tear themselves away.
A few good friends, but they can come and see me.
Danger for the rest of you if they do but they might decide to stay.
18 years of Police Pension scheme frozen til I'm 60 now.
Just passed my Sergeants Exam.
Leaving a country I was brought up to love.
How might it gone in Jim Hacker's world.
Sir Humprhey these police chappies I can't give them this money it would show me in a very poor light.
Yes Minister.
So how do win.
You can't, Minister.
Sir Humphrey you usually have a way, can't we promise them a public inquiry to chair or something.
Oh the Court case, that easy enough, I thought you meant the police.You'll never win. It will always rankle them.
A small price to pay for the greater good.
Hmm. Very noble of you Minister. Your personal sacrifice will go down in History.
Sarcasm Sir Humphrey.
No Minister. I merely note that there are two armed police officers outside your office. There are armed police officers permanently outside your house. There are countless armed and unarmed police officers around Parliament.
They wouldn't.
No Minister they wouldn't. But they might also be looking the other way when someone else does.
Oh.
Pay a mere irritation, amongst all the many things wrong with this country.
There need to be a better way of selecting senior officers.
There needs to be a focus on leading a Police force and fighting crime.
Not the current corporate logo, buzz word infested, sound bite geared drive to get the best possible position before retirement.
A chief constable makes a pronouncement on the lack of significant number of officers from ethnic minorities. A knee jerk reaction means that measures are taken to increase those numbers, and he is seen as a hero on his march towards becoming Commisioner of the Met Police.
One wonders whether they actually care at all about about the make up of their officers except in the sense that he'd have no some to have a service.
One impotent officer walking around in a fluorescent jacket is as good as another.
My children are Asian. I've told them they shouldn't join the police.
If they did, they would benefit from coaching to ensure that they would pass the interview.
Would the recruiters think I not interested in what they are saying, pass them anyway, then we can't be accused of being prejudiced, I don't know.
They would be given priority in being appointed as police officers.
Would they pass their probation in the same way.
Then be encouraged to go for promotion or specialism.
But alway the doubt with white male colleagues that my children had an unfair advantage.
It will cost me a fortune as they work through medical school or univercity but they will have transferable skills to work anywhere in the world and not this God forsaken Septred Isle.
I've been dishonest. I rarely wear fluorescent, it doesn't go with a Glock and MP5.
I try not to arrest people, sometimes it happens.
I work incredible ammounts of overtime.
But quality of life and the ability to forfill the Oath I took to maintain the Queens Peace alludes me.
How did they solve the problem about the Oath. Change it.
Saturday, 3 May 2008
What Boris needs to do!!
Oh how naive you all are. Put more police on the street you say. Put conductors on buses. Give them radios so they can call police. Conductors would work if you go back to the old days. You know the violent drunk giving the conductor grief. The Driver would run round to the bus and whack the offending individual with a starting handle.
Oh dear these days the extra police would be obliged to arrest the driver, the violent drunk would go to hospital to be treated as a victim. If the police didn’t jump to his tune he would be able to make a complaint. The case is reviewed by the Crown Prosecution Service who make their judgement on the grounds of whether there is more than a 50% probability of a successful prosecution not whether justice would be served.
Police need to be granted the discretion of the old days, to turn round to the alleged victim and say “you had that coming mate” and not fear disciplinary action. Obviously there still needs some supervisory oversight to exercise common sense which these days appears to have evaporated. But oversight should be by the sergeants and inspectors not by a committee of rabid police hating axe grinders that these days leave police officer in dread of doing the job they joined to do.
Then there are there’s the problem of youths hanging around committing anti-social crimes. Ah but they’ve got nothing to do I hear them say. Well as my neighbour pointed out. After the war there was no youth facilities. But they didn’t go smashing up bus stop. They didn’t hang around on street corner drinking beer. Didn’t harass a mother into murdering her disabled daughter and kill herself. Didn’t throw stones at a pensioner’s house at all hours causing a heart attack. Didn’t return with their mates to commit GBH on workmen who intervene to protect children from firework lobbing yobs. No the clip round the ear prevented it from ever getting to that stage in the first place.
You pay for a fluorescent clad, professional, anti-racist, anti homophobic, socially representative, disinterested, tamed police service with the lives and health of the innocent who were just trying to live their lives.
Boris, unleash the dogs of justice. Suburbia will be safer in weeks; inner cities will take a little longer.
Oh dear these days the extra police would be obliged to arrest the driver, the violent drunk would go to hospital to be treated as a victim. If the police didn’t jump to his tune he would be able to make a complaint. The case is reviewed by the Crown Prosecution Service who make their judgement on the grounds of whether there is more than a 50% probability of a successful prosecution not whether justice would be served.
Police need to be granted the discretion of the old days, to turn round to the alleged victim and say “you had that coming mate” and not fear disciplinary action. Obviously there still needs some supervisory oversight to exercise common sense which these days appears to have evaporated. But oversight should be by the sergeants and inspectors not by a committee of rabid police hating axe grinders that these days leave police officer in dread of doing the job they joined to do.
Then there are there’s the problem of youths hanging around committing anti-social crimes. Ah but they’ve got nothing to do I hear them say. Well as my neighbour pointed out. After the war there was no youth facilities. But they didn’t go smashing up bus stop. They didn’t hang around on street corner drinking beer. Didn’t harass a mother into murdering her disabled daughter and kill herself. Didn’t throw stones at a pensioner’s house at all hours causing a heart attack. Didn’t return with their mates to commit GBH on workmen who intervene to protect children from firework lobbing yobs. No the clip round the ear prevented it from ever getting to that stage in the first place.
You pay for a fluorescent clad, professional, anti-racist, anti homophobic, socially representative, disinterested, tamed police service with the lives and health of the innocent who were just trying to live their lives.
Boris, unleash the dogs of justice. Suburbia will be safer in weeks; inner cities will take a little longer.
Mayoral Election
Goodbye Uncle Ken.
They way he rubbed shoulders with the trainee South American dictator C.H.A.V.ez inspired me to get out and vote against him.
The way his killer bendy buses block the road causing congestion and pollution.
The way eleven almost empty buses can queue up trying to turn right and ensuring that nobody goes anywhere.
The way the pedestrian crossing go to red when no one is about.
The way his pointless newspaper plonked onto the doorstep to tell us how he was wasting our hard earned cash.
How he imposed congestion charge on the residents on Kensington and Chelsea even though 70% didn't want.
Well if they were happy to put up with the alleged congestion and pollution on the very streets they lived on who was Ken Livingstone to decide otherwise.
Oh! perhaps it was because they didn't vote for him and because they were all taxed and legal it was easy for Ken to plunder their wallets.
All these surveillance based systems only work on legal tax paying law abiding citizens.
10% in the UK are uninsured. Get the police out stopping them and seize their cars.
Get those Disqualified drivers, well untaxed, MOT failures, Prohibitied, un-registered or foreign registered, provisional license holders. Seize their cars, that will reduce congestion and hit those who shouldn't be on the road in the first place instad of the already overburdened taxpayers.
As for Paddick 9%
That'll teach you.
If you'd learnt anything in your 30 years of policing London it should have been that they did it better 30 years ago and you policed over the declining years when police lost control.
Policing should be with discretion.
When Cannabis was arrestable class B you could deal with it as circumstances direct.
You could arrest people in the nicer parts of the Metropolis when people took the P'.
Or
You could suggest that they put it down the drain if you had bigger fish to fry in the inner cities.
Now as a petty offence, that is summonsable and just not worth the trouble, we end up with people walking down the high street puffing away on a joint on a Saturday afternoon.
Not the biggest crime but it is another thumbing of the nose at law and order.
It is one of those broken window in the arguement for Zero Tolerance.
But was Padick ever a real police officer long enough to appreciate this?
The problem with the left wing intelligentsia is that as you can't control discretion they believe that it leads to inconsistent outcomes which they see as unfair.
They construct intricate and complex rules to ensure that everyone is dealt with the same.
It just clogs everything up and results in even fewer people being dealt with appropriately and people who should never been dealt with going to prison, such as old age pensioners.
Here endeth the Lesson
They way he rubbed shoulders with the trainee South American dictator C.H.A.V.ez inspired me to get out and vote against him.
The way his killer bendy buses block the road causing congestion and pollution.
The way eleven almost empty buses can queue up trying to turn right and ensuring that nobody goes anywhere.
The way the pedestrian crossing go to red when no one is about.
The way his pointless newspaper plonked onto the doorstep to tell us how he was wasting our hard earned cash.
How he imposed congestion charge on the residents on Kensington and Chelsea even though 70% didn't want.
Well if they were happy to put up with the alleged congestion and pollution on the very streets they lived on who was Ken Livingstone to decide otherwise.
Oh! perhaps it was because they didn't vote for him and because they were all taxed and legal it was easy for Ken to plunder their wallets.
All these surveillance based systems only work on legal tax paying law abiding citizens.
10% in the UK are uninsured. Get the police out stopping them and seize their cars.
Get those Disqualified drivers, well untaxed, MOT failures, Prohibitied, un-registered or foreign registered, provisional license holders. Seize their cars, that will reduce congestion and hit those who shouldn't be on the road in the first place instad of the already overburdened taxpayers.
As for Paddick 9%
That'll teach you.
If you'd learnt anything in your 30 years of policing London it should have been that they did it better 30 years ago and you policed over the declining years when police lost control.
Policing should be with discretion.
When Cannabis was arrestable class B you could deal with it as circumstances direct.
You could arrest people in the nicer parts of the Metropolis when people took the P'.
Or
You could suggest that they put it down the drain if you had bigger fish to fry in the inner cities.
Now as a petty offence, that is summonsable and just not worth the trouble, we end up with people walking down the high street puffing away on a joint on a Saturday afternoon.
Not the biggest crime but it is another thumbing of the nose at law and order.
It is one of those broken window in the arguement for Zero Tolerance.
But was Padick ever a real police officer long enough to appreciate this?
The problem with the left wing intelligentsia is that as you can't control discretion they believe that it leads to inconsistent outcomes which they see as unfair.
They construct intricate and complex rules to ensure that everyone is dealt with the same.
It just clogs everything up and results in even fewer people being dealt with appropriately and people who should never been dealt with going to prison, such as old age pensioners.
Here endeth the Lesson
Monday, 14 April 2008
Police Staff
Once upon a time I was a "Civie", a member of the Civil Staff and proud of that.
Now I would be a member of the Police Staff.
"Civie" is now demeaning. Police staff the new title.
Given to a scruffy, ill disciplined bunch who managed 2 passes at GCSE level and tick the required equal ops boxes. Not all of them. Some are very gifted dedicated, and talented.
Probably didn't object to being "Civies"
A two year probationary period, 18 weeks at training college, followed by a 10 weeks street training course on Division and 6, one week Continuation Training Courses all to be passed so that I can call myself police.
Hmm!
Our pursuit car was called up the other day. Our Finance and Resource Manager needed a lift to HQ.
The Driver arrived. Mike (not real name) the manager got in to the back.
Driver, "Hi Mike you need a lift then"
Mike, "Its Sir to you"
Driver, "Do what"
Mike, "I'm a member of the SMT. You'll call me Sir"
Driver, "I won't and you can get out"
Driver. "Yeah Control, Mike's now walking to HQ"
And another.
The Personel officer referred to the Chief inspector as "Woodie"
Looking a little miffed he turned to her and said "Its Mr Woods or Chief Inspector if you don't
mind".
"Oh Woodie, I'm one of you now, were equal ranks, part of the SMT"
"Your just a jumped up typist who's got well above her station"
Grades don't equate to ranks. Sorry.
The tail is now wagging the dog
Now I would be a member of the Police Staff.
"Civie" is now demeaning. Police staff the new title.
Given to a scruffy, ill disciplined bunch who managed 2 passes at GCSE level and tick the required equal ops boxes. Not all of them. Some are very gifted dedicated, and talented.
Probably didn't object to being "Civies"
A two year probationary period, 18 weeks at training college, followed by a 10 weeks street training course on Division and 6, one week Continuation Training Courses all to be passed so that I can call myself police.
Hmm!
Our pursuit car was called up the other day. Our Finance and Resource Manager needed a lift to HQ.
The Driver arrived. Mike (not real name) the manager got in to the back.
Driver, "Hi Mike you need a lift then"
Mike, "Its Sir to you"
Driver, "Do what"
Mike, "I'm a member of the SMT. You'll call me Sir"
Driver, "I won't and you can get out"
Driver. "Yeah Control, Mike's now walking to HQ"
And another.
The Personel officer referred to the Chief inspector as "Woodie"
Looking a little miffed he turned to her and said "Its Mr Woods or Chief Inspector if you don't
mind".
"Oh Woodie, I'm one of you now, were equal ranks, part of the SMT"
"Your just a jumped up typist who's got well above her station"
Grades don't equate to ranks. Sorry.
The tail is now wagging the dog
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