Saturday 8 November 2008

Prince of Darkness

Mandelson walking along Downing Street with a fairly well known young Holywood actor.
Trying to impress said actor Mandleson says infront of Delta1 outside the front door of number 10.
"This officer is here to protect my life, isn't that right?"
Delta 1 replies," No sir. I'm here to make sure the man who kills you never stands trial".
Mandleson goes quiet.

Wednesday 8 October 2008

Lost my Warrant card

I was asked to give it back.
It was too easy.
Oh damn have to pay for buses and trains now.
But now I'll have to just sit there and watch the scum get on with it and...
What am I saying I'm going to drive everywhere now.
No blood pressure shooting through the ceiling when they put their feet on the seat, play there gangster rap music out load, leave there refuse on the seat, let there dogs sit on the seats, bring their pitbulls on the train and let them wander, whilst the owners swig from the cans of tennent extra, swear their heads off, have extra loud mobile phone conversations discussing thing that ought only be discussed in hushed tones in darkened corners.
We'll if you're no longer a police officer I suppose that you have to give the wallet, shiney badge and card with the face worn off back.
Any regrets. Well the money will stop.

Tuesday 17 June 2008

If I weren't leaving

If I was staying in the country and entering TOWBAR (Tasking Orientated work based assessment something) and perhaps my own neighbourhood. See if I could get a Safer Neighbourhood Team.
Turn up outside the news agents in the High Road ask the youfs to move along, then “Nick” them for a B.O.P. if they don’t. PACE says that if you’re not going to detain for more than six hours you don’t have to take them to a designated police station. So clear out those old cells full of files and broken furniture and stuff them full of the little yobs. Perhaps no more street signs dragged down their poles and then bent double just at shin height to catch the unwary.
Hunt them down. OK they aren’t serious criminals but they create an atmosphere of fear and dread. As you walk along the streets at midnight and a slightly older bunch of youfs hanging outside the chicken shop. Oh couldn’t I have brought my Glock with me just incase?
Oh my goodness he’s smoking cannabis. P’ taker.
Perhaps the smashed bus shelters the, the graffiti, the drunken assaults, drug taking and the urinating in the street.
“The streets of London are paved with Gold”! Are they really because to me it smells of wee to me.
What else the oiks with their pitbulls. The ignorant so and so’s with their feet on the seats or making their loud personal phone calls disclosing all sorts of embarrassing personal details.
Anyway hopefully ...

Tuesday 10 June 2008

Police Pay

Well do I care. I took a step closer to Plan B last week. All going well Canberra here I come.
Yes I will be sorry to go:-
Three personnal reasons but they can join me later if they can leave my ex here. Life there would be better for them if they can tear themselves away.
A few good friends, but they can come and see me.
Danger for the rest of you if they do but they might decide to stay.
18 years of Police Pension scheme frozen til I'm 60 now.
Just passed my Sergeants Exam.
Leaving a country I was brought up to love.
How might it gone in Jim Hacker's world.
Sir Humprhey these police chappies I can't give them this money it would show me in a very poor light.
Yes Minister.
So how do win.
You can't, Minister.
Sir Humphrey you usually have a way, can't we promise them a public inquiry to chair or something.
Oh the Court case, that easy enough, I thought you meant the police.You'll never win. It will always rankle them.
A small price to pay for the greater good.
Hmm. Very noble of you Minister. Your personal sacrifice will go down in History.
Sarcasm Sir Humphrey.
No Minister. I merely note that there are two armed police officers outside your office. There are armed police officers permanently outside your house. There are countless armed and unarmed police officers around Parliament.
They wouldn't.
No Minister they wouldn't. But they might also be looking the other way when someone else does.
Oh.
Pay a mere irritation, amongst all the many things wrong with this country.
There need to be a better way of selecting senior officers.
There needs to be a focus on leading a Police force and fighting crime.
Not the current corporate logo, buzz word infested, sound bite geared drive to get the best possible position before retirement.
A chief constable makes a pronouncement on the lack of significant number of officers from ethnic minorities. A knee jerk reaction means that measures are taken to increase those numbers, and he is seen as a hero on his march towards becoming Commisioner of the Met Police.
One wonders whether they actually care at all about about the make up of their officers except in the sense that he'd have no some to have a service.
One impotent officer walking around in a fluorescent jacket is as good as another.
My children are Asian. I've told them they shouldn't join the police.
If they did, they would benefit from coaching to ensure that they would pass the interview.
Would the recruiters think I not interested in what they are saying, pass them anyway, then we can't be accused of being prejudiced, I don't know.
They would be given priority in being appointed as police officers.
Would they pass their probation in the same way.
Then be encouraged to go for promotion or specialism.
But alway the doubt with white male colleagues that my children had an unfair advantage.
It will cost me a fortune as they work through medical school or univercity but they will have transferable skills to work anywhere in the world and not this God forsaken Septred Isle.
I've been dishonest. I rarely wear fluorescent, it doesn't go with a Glock and MP5.
I try not to arrest people, sometimes it happens.
I work incredible ammounts of overtime.
But quality of life and the ability to forfill the Oath I took to maintain the Queens Peace alludes me.
How did they solve the problem about the Oath. Change it.

Saturday 3 May 2008

What Boris needs to do!!

Oh how naive you all are. Put more police on the street you say. Put conductors on buses. Give them radios so they can call police. Conductors would work if you go back to the old days. You know the violent drunk giving the conductor grief. The Driver would run round to the bus and whack the offending individual with a starting handle.
Oh dear these days the extra police would be obliged to arrest the driver, the violent drunk would go to hospital to be treated as a victim. If the police didn’t jump to his tune he would be able to make a complaint. The case is reviewed by the Crown Prosecution Service who make their judgement on the grounds of whether there is more than a 50% probability of a successful prosecution not whether justice would be served.
Police need to be granted the discretion of the old days, to turn round to the alleged victim and say “you had that coming mate” and not fear disciplinary action. Obviously there still needs some supervisory oversight to exercise common sense which these days appears to have evaporated. But oversight should be by the sergeants and inspectors not by a committee of rabid police hating axe grinders that these days leave police officer in dread of doing the job they joined to do.
Then there are there’s the problem of youths hanging around committing anti-social crimes. Ah but they’ve got nothing to do I hear them say. Well as my neighbour pointed out. After the war there was no youth facilities. But they didn’t go smashing up bus stop. They didn’t hang around on street corner drinking beer. Didn’t harass a mother into murdering her disabled daughter and kill herself. Didn’t throw stones at a pensioner’s house at all hours causing a heart attack. Didn’t return with their mates to commit GBH on workmen who intervene to protect children from firework lobbing yobs. No the clip round the ear prevented it from ever getting to that stage in the first place.
You pay for a fluorescent clad, professional, anti-racist, anti homophobic, socially representative, disinterested, tamed police service with the lives and health of the innocent who were just trying to live their lives.
Boris, unleash the dogs of justice. Suburbia will be safer in weeks; inner cities will take a little longer.

Mayoral Election

Goodbye Uncle Ken.
They way he rubbed shoulders with the trainee South American dictator C.H.A.V.ez inspired me to get out and vote against him.
The way his killer bendy buses block the road causing congestion and pollution.
The way eleven almost empty buses can queue up trying to turn right and ensuring that nobody goes anywhere.
The way the pedestrian crossing go to red when no one is about.
The way his pointless newspaper plonked onto the doorstep to tell us how he was wasting our hard earned cash.
How he imposed congestion charge on the residents on Kensington and Chelsea even though 70% didn't want.
Well if they were happy to put up with the alleged congestion and pollution on the very streets they lived on who was Ken Livingstone to decide otherwise.
Oh! perhaps it was because they didn't vote for him and because they were all taxed and legal it was easy for Ken to plunder their wallets.
All these surveillance based systems only work on legal tax paying law abiding citizens.
10% in the UK are uninsured. Get the police out stopping them and seize their cars.
Get those Disqualified drivers, well untaxed, MOT failures, Prohibitied, un-registered or foreign registered, provisional license holders. Seize their cars, that will reduce congestion and hit those who shouldn't be on the road in the first place instad of the already overburdened taxpayers.
As for Paddick 9%
That'll teach you.
If you'd learnt anything in your 30 years of policing London it should have been that they did it better 30 years ago and you policed over the declining years when police lost control.
Policing should be with discretion.
When Cannabis was arrestable class B you could deal with it as circumstances direct.
You could arrest people in the nicer parts of the Metropolis when people took the P'.
Or
You could suggest that they put it down the drain if you had bigger fish to fry in the inner cities.
Now as a petty offence, that is summonsable and just not worth the trouble, we end up with people walking down the high street puffing away on a joint on a Saturday afternoon.
Not the biggest crime but it is another thumbing of the nose at law and order.
It is one of those broken window in the arguement for Zero Tolerance.
But was Padick ever a real police officer long enough to appreciate this?
The problem with the left wing intelligentsia is that as you can't control discretion they believe that it leads to inconsistent outcomes which they see as unfair.
They construct intricate and complex rules to ensure that everyone is dealt with the same.
It just clogs everything up and results in even fewer people being dealt with appropriately and people who should never been dealt with going to prison, such as old age pensioners.
Here endeth the Lesson

Monday 14 April 2008

Police Staff

Once upon a time I was a "Civie", a member of the Civil Staff and proud of that.
Now I would be a member of the Police Staff.
"Civie" is now demeaning. Police staff the new title.
Given to a scruffy, ill disciplined bunch who managed 2 passes at GCSE level and tick the required equal ops boxes. Not all of them. Some are very gifted dedicated, and talented.
Probably didn't object to being "Civies"
A two year probationary period, 18 weeks at training college, followed by a 10 weeks street training course on Division and 6, one week Continuation Training Courses all to be passed so that I can call myself police.
Hmm!
Our pursuit car was called up the other day. Our Finance and Resource Manager needed a lift to HQ.
The Driver arrived. Mike (not real name) the manager got in to the back.
Driver, "Hi Mike you need a lift then"
Mike, "Its Sir to you"
Driver, "Do what"
Mike, "I'm a member of the SMT. You'll call me Sir"
Driver, "I won't and you can get out"
Driver. "Yeah Control, Mike's now walking to HQ"
And another.
The Personel officer referred to the Chief inspector as "Woodie"
Looking a little miffed he turned to her and said "Its Mr Woods or Chief Inspector if you don't
mind".
"Oh Woodie, I'm one of you now, were equal ranks, part of the SMT"
"Your just a jumped up typist who's got well above her station"
Grades don't equate to ranks. Sorry.
The tail is now wagging the dog

If I Was Chief Officer of Police

In our in house magazine coloquially known as "Pravda", (For you youngsters, the Newspaper for the Russian Communist party and de-facto national paper for the former USSR), There was an article entitled "Commisioner for the Day". Sergeant really dreary from boring outlining division was saying that more publicity should be given to SNTs. What the F@&% are SNTs I ask myself. Safer Neighbourhood teams apparently.
What would I do.
Best be quiet because still need to work, until I manage to get out of the Country.
Australia looks good.

Tuesday 12 February 2008

Fireman being ambushed, Whatever Next?

You have boundaries for your children. They step over them. Then You batter them. Then the NSPCA trys to put you in prison.
Then the children are given to a paedophile to raise as their own.
Society once had boundaries.
It consisted of a constable with a rolled up cape.
Step over the boundary and the cape would recoil off the side of your head.
Unfortunately that bunch of bleeding heart liberal do gooders thought it barbaric and unsuitable in a civilised society, wrecked it for all of us.
Little did they know that it was only the brute force that was keeping the lid on the barbarians that gave the illusion of the civilised society that they enjoyed.
So the public were greater rights to be dealt with fairly.
Some started to object to their miscreant youths being battered by the police.
Others objected on their behalf.
Politicians, officials concede because they don't understand policing. They only associate with nice people so they think that if you treat people decently they will behave decently.
They'll delude themselves denying that if they were caught out they're behaviour would be less that impecable.
Then as more and more complained police stopped carrying capes and started reporting youths.
Now the justice system can't cope.
The youths know how impotent the system is.
Let face it all of us would survive the gentle introduction to recidivist criminality.
Your yoblet gets caught commiting a crime. Its the first time that anyone has felt able to confront their borish behaviour.
They cry, they want their mummy when they are place in the detention room.
A few hours later having received their "Reprimand" and had their statuatory nagging they are free to big it up with their mate, having been DNA'd, fingerprinted and photographed.
The new "Club number" or Criminal record office number means that their future options in life are now limited.
Catch them again and it a "Formal Warning" for you. This time they know the procedure so mummy is treated with the contempt of being yet another weak adult.
And then is the "Final warning", followed by the "Formal Caution"
There will have been referals to the "Youth Offending Team" and posibly the "Restorative justice team"
Oh dear have to send them to Youth Court.
A Magistrates court by another name, but less formal so we don't scare the little mite.
Then we go through the menu of options, bind overs, Community Service orders, fines which the parents will pay, and then finally Youth Offending Institute.
Now the yobs know through their mate that the system is just a pathetic child minding service.
I was talking with an older PC who was reminiscing about the old days.
He was based at a city station, we'll call it Sandford. With his relief they were sent to assist with a regular public order problems.
The yobs of Sandford Cross would come to Sandford Abbey to fight, the following week there would be a return match would be held at the other venue.
This night it kicked off in the police station car park. The SPG de-bused. They beat anyone who stood there ground or failed to run away fast enough. Local Officers came at the Abbey Cross yobs from the other side. The police casualties included a DS with a broken arm and a dog handler with three broken fingers.
The dog went wild biting everything.
Two arrest ensued but the local casualty was full of battered and bruised yobs that night.
The following week police attended the re-match and did exactly the same.
There was hardly any public order trouble after that.
Another story was about Charlie who was built like a brick outhouse.
Charlie would walk up to a group of unruly yobs.
Charlie would ask "Which one of you the hard nut then"
He'd say "Come on which of you is the toughest".
One would eventually step forward.
Charlie would then punch the foolish youth, knocking him out.
He'd then ask "Right which of you is the toughest".
None of them would step forward this time.
Those days have disappeared and the yobs have to find someone else to torment, to try and provoke a response.
Well if you pick on the fireman, maybe you'll get a response.
BUT the problem is that until the response comes, not because they ambush Fire Officers but because they are gathering in a menacing and intimidating group, then thing will just get worse.
Meanwhile the Firebrigade installs CCTV onboard overloaded fire appliances to try and get these yobs into the impotent justice system.

Thursday 31 January 2008

Statistics

I watched Sky News talking about stop and search.
The reporter going on about how unfair it would be as already 70% of stops were on non white subjects.
If you base anything on statistics be very wary.
A colleague of mine was on a on a Robbery Squad which was very successful reducing the number of Robberys in his area over a 6 month period by 50% and successfully prosecuting large number of Robbers.
The Majority in that area mirroring the population and Afro-Caribean.
He earnt a lot of money out of it, so did his colleagues.
His newly promoted Inspector however was taken to task about the low number of stop slips being completed by the team, even though they were successfully bringing down robberies.
She asked team members to put in a stop slip for every arrest, after all they were all searched.
A skipper (sergeant) pointed out that these were section 32 PACE 1984 searches
not Section 1 searches and therefore didn't require a stop slip.
The Inspector made her displeasure known.
The problem though is that this distorts the statistics.
Then later on a Chief Inspector was assigned to deal with Robbery.
He cut the Incidents of Robbery overnight, without any extra expenditure.
How did he do it?
He reviewed all crimes before they were classified and classed them on as thefts with an assault.
He drastically improved the figures but what did it do to the statistics!!!

What he probably has done is caused a reduction on the budget for next year, because they no longer have a Robbery problem.
Now multiply this by the 32 London Boroughs and of course London is the safest its been in years, just don't leave your house.

Don't base any arguement on statisitcs unless you compiled them and verified them yourself, if you care
that is unless you want the next Rank, election to parliament or edit a paper, then publish and be damned.

Thursday 24 January 2008

So rude.

Driving back to base. With Big Mike(names changed to protect the innocent).
Black Caribean officer, two years to go. Mid 40s, built like a brick shithouse. Makes Hi-Tower in police accademy look puny, but soft as anything.
Sitting in the traffic when a dispatch rider cylces up the pavement.
I mentioned it so he pulled up, wound down the window and extremely politely pointed out that the cyclist had broken the law.
The Git replied "What ever"
I don't do politeness, so I leapt from the car with fixed penalty in hand.
I get accused of "Abusing your Authority"
"Abuse of authority, I'll show you abuse of authority when I arrest you. What ID have you got?"
More abuse from the twat with the clever mouth.
Just then a traffic unit pulled up to enquire if we needed any help.
"Just the code for cycling on the pavement" which they promptly provided.
Apparently Mike explained to the gobby twat that yes I could arrest him for cycling on the pavement if he couldn't prove who he was. And that I definately would.
He rumaged through his rucksack and volunteered a bank statement with his name and address on it.
Happy I completed his ticket. £30 for being rude to a police officer!
Mike said as we drove off. "I'm glad I've got two years to go, in my day i'd have punched him".

Wednesday 23 January 2008

STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE (not)

All these blogs and comments on the news and in the papers by the "Thickos".
Short memories!
Remember the turn of the Century.
Massive shortages of Police Officers.
Not enough recruits.
Retention problems, experienced officers leaving.
Because the Torys thought they could do policing on the cheap.
Oh increase the pay and allowances.
It worked.
BUT. Now they've got PCSOs they think they've got it covered.
Fluorescent jackets on the street.
Chimps - Completely Hopeless In Most Policing Situations.
Any potential police recruit push them into being a Special or PCSO first.
Well in answer to some of those comments ....
1). Its a nice pension but we pay 11% of our wages towards it which is not invested, just paid straight back out to police pensioners.
2). If convicted of an offence the pension can be confiscated, even though we pay for it.
3).We can be compelled to work overtime on our rest days.
4). If we are given more than 15 days notice the only compensation is a day back.
(Then you find that you can't actually take the day back at a time convenient to you)
5). We start with 22 days annual leave.
6). If something happens, and incident or arrest we have to stay on and deal with it.
7). We are required to be presentable, smart, in uniform.
8). We are not allowed to take an active part in Politics.
9). We can't speak to journalist without the permission of the chief officer of police.
Ok many jobs have similar demands.
But then
10). If you fail in to discharge your duty, Malfeaseance in a Public Office contrary to Common Law, you can go to prison for life "Imprisonment at Large".
11). Your Children may be bullied at school because their parent decided that they wanted to contribute something to society rather than just pedal the cheapest, nastiest goods manafactured in a third world sweatshop at the highest possible price or deliver a slipshod service when it suits them, not you. "Do you want that am or pm, Sir? No we can't narrow down the time, Sir".
12). Should you realise your mistake and resign, you'll find that that expensive pension is now frozen till your 60th birthday by which time if you're still young it will be worthless.
13). Anybody can complain about your conduct and you may find yourself banned from dealing with the public, working any overtime for a year or more before it is resolved, and it still remains on your record even if it was completely malicious.
14). You can't go on strike.
15). You can't discuss going on strike.
16). You may find your car regularly vandalised in the street because you are a police officer.
17). If you go to court it will be implied that you are a racist, incompetant, corrupt.
18). Should you, under pressure to assist a member of the public be involved in a traffic accident you could be looking at being reported for a traffic offence and potentially losing your license and possibly going to prison.
19). Should some idiot run into you, on or off duty, they will not be reported, incase it is deemed to be an abuse of authority on the part of the police.
20). You'll quickly learn that even though you joined to help the weak and vulnerable, and to bring criminals to justice, that you were sadley deluded. Police are there as a comfort factor to reassure the public that everything will be allright.
21). If you do any police work you will that you have to duplicate that work several times over and create files with a rainforest full of paper.
22). You get used to biting your lip when some smart mouth argues the toss, knowing that 30 years ago such a discussion would be ended with a swift punch in the mouth. Which would allow the perpertrator to reflect on their conduct and their attitude to a Constable.
23). You need permission of the Chief officer of police to reside at any given address in case it is unsuitable for a constable.
24). You should ask permission to marry.
25). Like other emergency services we deal with the dead, dying and seriously injured. That includes The elderley, Motorists, pedestrians,building site accidents, and the most distressing for us parents young children.
26). We are the final emergency service safety net. No ambulance, call the police. No fire brigade call the police, no social worker call the police.
27). Who else in this country aims to be with you in under 12 minutes when you cry for help.
Emergency plumbers, the fourth emergency service maybe.
28). Which other emergency service does everyone have an opinion on. Haven't you got anything better to do isn't thrown at fireman and paramedics.
29). How many of the other emergency services are routinely assaulted and injured by members of the public.
30). Oh and the numpties coming out of training schools all primed with "integrity is none negotiable". If you think that an experienced colleague is behaving inappropriately then report them.
Well some of these idiots who ten years ago would never have been allowed out of the doors of the training schools in uniform are possitively dangerous. My colleague dealt with a fraud. the Perpertrator at the scene confessed all. Was arrested. interviewed. The Trainee constable standing there couldn't remember the confession. She insisted that it had happened at the police station a version of events which wasn't supported by the CCTV in the custody.
My colleague was grounded. 18 years service, Police pursuit driver, very experienced, left to guard the rear gates of the police station for almost a year.
The CPS offered no evidence in a case where they had a confession from the accused.
The internal affairs interviewed the defendant who confirmed my colleagues version of events and said he was dealt with very professionally and was grateful for her understanding.
So it was all dropped.
The Defendant walks free, an experienced police officer off the street for a year..
all because of a numpty who shouldn't be allowed to be a council street warden let alone a constable.

If you can tick all the boxes you may well be a police officer. Otherwise even if you the most obnoxious police hating retard we will still come out to at 3am in the morning to chase away the night mares.

You ungrateful lot. I'm leaving the country as soon as I can.

Saturday 19 January 2008

Sick to the pits of my Stomach

Notts police. Wankers.
Some of my families lives there and I've alway taken their whinges about the police with pinch of salt.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=0CGLT3LD214KXQFIQMGCFGGAVCBQUIV0?xml=/news/2008/01/19/nhaveago119.xml .
Arresting a 73 year old for shouting at anti social kids.
Ok if we're talking about shouting at very young children, toddlers maybe then there might be grounds to arrest.
But teenagers.
If any of those Notts tossers produce one of their warrant cards to me, I'll be looking for the arrest.
Be warned you useless tossers.
But then you get the police service you deserve not the police force you want.
Easy arrest, CPS would probably agree, so judicial clear up.
Statistically the country is getting safer and more crimes solved. This shows how the crimes are being cleared up though.

Wednesday 16 January 2008

Word of Wisdom from the ancient Marriner

It's the same the world over, If you don't want a policeman to do something add more paperwork to it and take away the overtime.
They'll find something else to do.
Drink tea in the canteen is favourite, (if you can find a space amongst the PCSO).
Here endeth the lesson.

Tuesday 15 January 2008

The Perfect Ambush

This one tickles me. I Used to go all over London carrying out ANPR (automated number plate reader) operations.
Well one of the hits lead to the usual pillars or should that be pillows of society trying to persuade me that his lack of tax was an oversight, yes he had got insurance, it was his mates car, his mate was called John, no he didn't know his mates surname, no he didn't know where his mate lived, they drank together and yes he had a full license.
"Ok, What colour is your driving license photocard".
Answers
a) Pink - correct answer.
b) Green - wrong answer.
c) I've got the old style license - Git answer
d) "It's a fair cop guv" - true answer

or "That colour" pointing to a block of flats built out of dirty yellow London bricks.

I looked at him.
He smirked.
I looked at him.
He positively beamed at me.
I said nothing.
He looked expectantly waiting for me to say something.
I pulled out my warrant card holder.
His face changed to slight puzzlement.
I pulled out my photcard (thumb over my personal details)
He sagged, he stumbled, he shrunk 2".
I explained that we were going to play a different game that went along the lines of convince of who you are or I'll be drinking tea in the canteen whilst your drinking Maxpacs in a cell for the rest of the day.
I arrested him anyway.
Well he'd lied to me already so I'm not going to believe anything he tells me.
Afterwards I reflected that he obviously doesn't even associate with anyone who has a full UK license.
Still earnt some overtime out of it.